Merry Christmas
by Suffering Angel
Summary: Going to a Christmas party with your friends and the girl you love should be fun, right? Than why is someone found dead during the party? And Because of it? AAML. ANGST!


Disclaimer- me not owe Digi, err I mean POKEmon! That's it, me not owe POKEmon! ^^;;; after so many Digimon fics, one can understand me, ne?  
  
ChibiRaye-Chan: HELLO WORLD!!!  
  
E2K: Finally, she's writing Pokemon angst! Hallelujah!  
  
ChibiRaye-Chan: --;;; Calm down, I said I'd write it, right?  
  
E2K: *_*  
  
ChibiRaye-Chan: ^^;;; ok, well, folks, this here's a dark fic, with stuff the weak shouldn't read. So please note that this is an R rated fic, thank you very much.  
  
E2K: And if anyone'll have problems with the fic they'll have to answer to me!  
  
ChibiRaye-Chan: --;;; on with the fic.  
  
E2K: YAY!!!  
  
ChibiRaye-Chan: --;;;  
  
Marry Christmas  
  
I watched as she danced with him. She seemed so happy being in the spotlight, something he had that I didn't. He was always in the spotlight, since we were kids, he was always 'the professor's grandson', I was just another loser who had a crush on his sister. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, he was always better. I got a badge, he'd get three. I'd catch a Pokemon, his was ten times bigger and at a higher level. I just wasn't good enough.  
  
I left the dancing hall and went out to the balcony. I tried to relax, breathing in the night's cool air when I heard giggles and other noises I'd rather were never heard. This town's Nurse Joy was unlike other Joys. She actually said 'yes' when Brock asked her out, and now they're MAKING out. Yuck.  
  
I re-entered the dance hall. A few younger girls came to me and asked to dance. I glanced over at them again. They were still dancing. My god, she sure was beautiful in that new gown. Another thing he was able to give her. All of a sudden they stopped dancing and were on their way back to our table. I excused myself and tried to sneak away, but she caught me.  
  
"Hey, Ash, where are you going?!"  
  
I turned around.  
  
"Oh, hey Misty. I was just... on my way to check on my Pokemon."  
  
"But you checked on them 15 minutes ago!"  
  
"Well, err..."  
  
"Let him be, Misty. It's obvious"  
  
My arms formed fists inside me too long sleeves.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean, Gary?!"  
  
"That means just what I said. You're jealous."  
  
A crowd started forming around us.  
  
"Why... Why should I be jealous of YOU?!"  
  
I said with as much disgust as I felt towards him at the moment.  
  
"It's obvious."  
  
I was about to punch him when Misty go in between us.  
  
"Stop it! It's ridiculous, we're at a party! You two promised you wouldn't fight!"  
  
"Well, he started it!"  
  
I turned to leave when he said the harshest thing-  
  
"Relax, Misty. He can't handle the fact that..."  
  
I turned around slowly and glared at him.  
  
"...I got the girl"  
  
It might have been the smirk. It might have been the fact that he was right. It might have been the fact that Misty actually blushed. Or I was just pushed so many times that I decided it's time I pushed back.  
  
My fist hit his jaw so fast and hard I saw a few teeth flying out of his mouth. Everyone around us gasped and Misty brought her hands to her mouth.  
  
"A... Ash..."  
  
I went and tried to hug her but she pushed me away.  
  
"How could you, Ash? I thought you were kind and caring and gentle, but how could someone as great as that hit someone else like that?!"  
  
"Misty, I..."  
  
"No, stop it! I don't wanna hear it! Not only do you owe me a pair of bicycles, now you also ruined my 16th Christmas! (A/N- yeah, so Ash and Misty are 16, so?)"  
  
"Misty, if you'd please just listen..."  
  
"NO! I have had enough of you, Ash Ketchum! I don't want to ever see you again!!!"  
  
Those words cut through my heart like a hot knife through butter. I felt tears coming to my eyes but I tried to keep them in. The girl I love more than life itself has said she never wanted to see me again.  
  
I looked around and tried to avoid making eye contact with any one of the numerous guests. What option did I have? I took what little pride I had left and walked out of the hall.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I think you were a bit too harsh on him, Misty."  
  
"Humph!"  
  
Was all Misty had to say. She kneeled next to Gary and tried to help him. The crowd started clearing the place, mainly because the main attraction was gone. I looked at her. It was obvious she was regretting what she had said to Ash, but she was too stubborn to ever admit it.  
  
"Misty, we all know you love him."  
  
Gary looked at me amazed, and Misty looked at me irritated.  
  
"So what, Brock? It gives me squat! And now he has ruined the party!"  
  
"I still say you were harsh. And going to the party just to make him jealous was a dirty trick that you knew would get you nothing but into a fight with Ash."  
  
I saw the look I knew oh-so-well coming to her face. The look of- 'you're right. You're right damn you, but I ain't gonna admit it out loud'. I love that look.  
  
"I guess maybe I was a bit out of line. Take care of things here?"  
  
"You know I will."  
  
She left after Ash, and Gary thought I was actually going to help. I punched him hard in the other side, the one Ash didn't hit him at.  
  
"Serves you right, you egotistical bastard!"  
  
As I walked away back to my Nurse Joy, I understood why Ash didn't even blink when Misty yelled at him. How can you regret something that felt so... GOOD?  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I looked at myself in the mirror. Messy black hair, zeds under my eyes, and not enough height to be able to look the girl I love in the face. But hey, my friends care about me right? My family loves me, don't they? Bull Shit.  
  
I leaned against the sink and sighed.  
  
"Why me?"  
  
My friends... bah! If they really cared about me they'd kick that Gary away, Misty'd never even look at him, and Brock wouldn't even hang out with him if it meant getting all of Gary's fans. But Brock'd do anything just to be seen with Gary's fans, and Misty... I bet she's out there with him, laughing at stupid Ash, ruining their Christmas.  
  
I look again at the mirror. I changed. Many people say that to me, although I'm not sure in what way they mean it. My mom says it's because I'm older. It's a natural change. But I heard people talk about me while I'm walking down the street. They think I don't hear them, but I do. 'Look at that poor boy, he looks so depressed'. 'Shouldn't his friends support him?' 'My god, he cut his wrist!'  
  
Yes, that's right. That's why I wear gloves. Although I never had the guts to cut as low as the actual wrist. That's me, coward Ash, lousy Ash, you-owe-me-a-bike Ash. Not- good Ash, nice Ash, good-trainer Ash. Never cute Ash, charming Ash, I'm-in-love-with-you Ash. NEVER.  
  
I felt the tears falling down my face. I didn't care. I've had enough. If no one cared, then why should I?  
  
I reached into my pocket and took out a sharp razor. Thank god I started shaving, other wise Brock might have suspected something when I asked him for one. I folded my sleeves upwards and held the razor in my right hand. I rubbed it gently against one of the older scars. Pain shot from the location when I used a bit more pressure. I almost let go of the razor, but then I heard her calling for me. She didn't want me. No one wanted me. All right. If they didn't want me, then I don't want them.  
  
I pressed the razor as hard as I could and just sliced my wrist. Before I lost control of my left hand, I used it to cut through my right one. I looked into the sink. The water in it were getting red. I hit the floor. Ouch. Come on, Ash. Think about it like this- the pain's over. Gone. No more pain. I saw this white light above me. It felt warm, comforting. It even talked.  
  
"Ash... It's all right, you're safe now."  
  
That voice... I know that voice... I've heard it before, when I was five...  
  
"Dad?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Misty kneeled in the bathroom next to Ash's still body. She hugged his head and let her new dress get soaked in his blood. Brock had left to take care of the sad mission of informing Mrs. Ketchum that on his 16th Christmas, her son has committed suicide.  
  
"Why, Ash? Why?"  
  
Misty asked no one in particular. She had cried ever since they found his body, and didn't let him go. It didn't help that he wasn't moving or breathing. It didn't matter that everyone told her he was gone. She held on to him for dear life. For if he wasn't there, nothing mattered anymore. Her love was gone, and she couldn't accept that. She raised her head from him and her glance fell on the razor. She picked it up and it cut her a bit. She bit her finger. She looked at Ash, then at the blade.  
  
"Nothing matters anymore"  
  
She said with tears in her eyes.  
  
"Nothing"  
  
She cut her own wrists, as fast as she could so that she could be with him again. She kissed his cheek one last time and laid next to him.  
  
"Marry Christmas, Ash. I love you"  
  
And she laid there still, her blood mixing with his.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
ChibiRaye-Chan: Man, that last idea just came out of nowhere! So, E2K, what do you think?!  
  
E2K: ...  
  
ChibiRaye-Chan: E2K?  
  
E2K: ASH! ASHY! NOOOOOOO!!!! *hugs Ash*  
  
ChibiRaye-Chan: --;;; please review. I also do Pokemon and Digimon fics by request.  
  
E2K: -sob- she sure does! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!! -Sob- WWWWAAAAHHHH!  
  
ChibiRaye-Chan: --;;; review, please? 


End file.
